“There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries, avoid all entanglements, lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least the risk of tragedy is damnation. The only place outside heaven where you can be perfectly safe for all the dangers and perturbations of love is hell.” – C.S. Lewis

but by a tree,
God has now won the world,
dying for all sins.

where there is much brokeness, grace is there multiplied, with all its abundance.

all of life is grace.

grace is not just forgiveness. it is power.

saints burn more grace than sinners ever would.
they run on grace!

but love is a choice.
love is a commitment.
jesus chose to lay down his life for us – the ultimate expression of love.

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so in that same way, i choose to love you.

but i’m reminded everyday that love is not an end point.
everyday i’m learning how to love.

and that makes me very vulnerable, and that has caused me many heart breaks.
but i’ve chosen to trust you in God.

so everyday when i choose to be commited to you,
when i pray that God will help me to love you more.
it means that i’ve decided to care, it means that i’m praying that God is moulding you to be used powerfully for his glory, it means i want you to be abundantly blessed, even when i know there will not be any reciprocation from you.

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i’m writing this to you, as much as to myself.

may his will be done in both our lives.

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but so what of worldly achievements.

i want to count all of them a loss, when compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus.

sometimes we don’t even know what we want.
or we fall in and out of “love” with things so easily.

how can God give us what we want, when we don’t even know what we truly desire?

it is not enough that i’m afraid.
it is not enough that i think i lack the abilities.
it is not enough that i lack any motivation to do something.

stop mucking around, felicia.

right now, worse things have happened.
but i’m way happier.

everyday i’m challenged by Him on how much do i trust him?
and i want to trust him fully, i want to trust him even when facing the impossible, i want to trust him even when all things are taken away from me.
because i know that all these are yours and glory goes back to you.
where ever you want me, there i will be.